Hers: How do you say "WTF" In Portuguese? SP, Brazil

I wouldn't necessarily say that I treat my immune system with love and respect, but she has hung in there over the last 26 years of my existence and she very rarely let's me down.

We went out on the town pretty hard on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday two weeks ago. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being just one cup of booze per night and 10 being ten cups of booze per night) we were keeping it at s consistent 5-7 cups each night. So, not bad. Monday morning we were only slightly hungover, which results in extra cuddles for me, so it's always totally worth it. 

We opened all of the windows in the apartment (friends from home can't do that no mas- brrrr brrr, it’s cold up thurr!) then Andrew ran out to grab us big sloppy breakfast sandos and coffee.  We successfully pushed through our ’slow wakeup’ and were feeling perfect by 9-10 AM. 

Six Pee Em rolls around and we're both incredibly light headed, nauseous, dizzy, could hardly keep our eyes open and our heads were absolutely pumping. What, the, heck?!

A cup of coffee, Makers Mark, Ketel one, OJ, Airborne, Excedrin, white wine, red wine, peppermint schnapps, etc. can always snap me out of basically any funk. Not this time. Nothing could shake this nasty sickness for either of us. I may or may not have tried several of the above at once and I was still a zombie. 

When all of the symptoms continued for TWO EFFING DAYS and the bloody noses arrived, we knew something was up. We were beyond out of it - all of our liveliness zapped, and waddling around like march of the penguins (also an appropriate joke because Andrew is white and black). On Wednesday morning, my body was achy from laying in the fetal position for so long, so I tried to go for a run to get some "fresh air.” A minute in I nearly passed out on the street. I walked on all fours up the hill to our apartment, went to bed and didn't get out of bed once until noon the next day. It was kind of brutal and unlike any other physical illness experience I've had before.  

Anyways, poor Andrew had to go to a meeting that day, so he fought through it and came back with interesting news. Andrew’s meeting mate apologized for how terrible he was feeling and that he could not meet for long. The last 3 days were really rough on him….(exactly like us!!!).  So Andrew shared our pain, and the gentleman informed him that his bad headaches and chronic dizziness was due to the SMOG!!! The smog levels in SP were near their highest ever, and since there has been a drought there for the last 6 months (oh yeah, FYI - Sao Paulo is operating at .06% water capacity — a result of the rampant deforestation of the AMAZON. WTF - pay attention to the environment or something you evil money-greedy pigs!), people are extra-susceptible to the airborne pollutants. SMOG. FREAKING SMOG was making us crazy! I did some research because I couldn't believe that some crappy air follicles could torture us to such extreme measures. Some folks at UC Berkeley claim the following, "While the effects of smog vary according to factors such as age, state of health, time of exposure, and dosage, the general symptoms include coughing, sneezing, headaches, tiredness, irritation, nausea, and hoarseness of the throat, nose, and eyes, and constrictions of the chest.” Ya, I can corroborate your story, Berkeley. College people are smaht (Boston accent).  

Moral of the story: 

Go get a smog check right now. If you don’t, I’ll hate you forever. Or just get rid of your car. Or buy a Tesla. 

This was a disturbing experience and really opened my eyes to what we're doing to this planet and how we're going to pay for it in many ways. Blah Blah Al Gore.  Listen to him, I think.