His & Hers: Indonesia- Blessings, Boards, & Aussie Buttheads

Just let me begin by pointing out there’s an obvious reoccurring theme here on AAATTW. We party a lot and we party hard a lot. So, don’t expect any differently ever, but also, don’t expect tooooo much detail as we like to keep a tiny bit of our craziness to ourselves #noneyabusiness. 

We stayed in Bali for 6 weeks, 5 of which were spent on the beach in and around Seminyak, and 1 up in ze jungle in Ubud. We made the mistake of booking our time in Bali during the holidays which means drunken Aussie overload. I’ve always thought Australians were generally decent people, no hate, but that all changed rather quickly. Aussie’s in Bali are painfully loud and rude and repulsive and easily the worst drunks. I don’t have an issue with those four traits, but put them together and slap on the dumbest accent of all time and you have a real mess on your hands.

I recommend avoiding that chaos from Christmas through NYE, by staying far far away from Kuta and Seminyak, unless of course, you're a degenerate avatar who would cheer at a bar for a woman to "show her tits," then you'd be in good company.

The beauty of Bali definitely runs far and wide - we rented a scooter for our entire stay for something like $6 a day, and burned rubber all over that Island.  Changuu, Uluwathu, Ubud, Tanah Lot, all over - cliffs, lakes, rivers, waterfalls, jungles, temples, beaches, other types of beaches, hills, mountains, rice paddies - definitely bring your razor scooter and box of crayons when you come. 

The Balinese follow their own brand of Hinduism for the most part and their temple game is INSANE.  Ohh and even more nuts is how good these people are at crazy ass sculptures - if we're ever rich and have a garden that we need to fill with 20 foot statues of ourselves, this is the place to have them made.  Everyone here seems to be some sort of artisan.

Have you ever burned the bottoms of your feet off by doing something badass like walking over red hot coals?  We haven't, that's idiotic.  But Adrienne was able to melt off the majority of her foot prints vis a vis giant blisters vis a vis walking 300 yards on black pavement on a 100 degree day.  Why oh why did she subject herself to such torture?  Because she woke up one morning, at home, fully clothed, in bed, but without any shoes anywhere to be seen somehow.  And the liquor gods strike again!  The Birkenstock couple was broken and after two hours of foraging - she could not find, and somewhere out there some limited edition, ADM-stank black on black Birkens are floating through the Pacific Ocean.  Randy got to play ancient Chinese nurse and bind her feet in gauze.  Then about 3 hours later, for some ridiculous reason we decided to go up to Potato Head Beach Club.  Me and my cripple-footed wifey.  Is it the same for everyone that when your significant other is severely and recently bandaged up, walking in public with you, that EVERYONE stares at you like - WTF HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?!

We were lucky to have met an incredible couple in Ton Sai Beach, Thailand, who then joined us for a stint in Bali. We rented the most bad ass house (here, for those of you interested) in the middle of rice paddies, in Ubud. We had so much fun racing around on our little motor bikes, come rain or shine. What a beautiful place.