His: Myanmar Your Grill

This was our most highly anticipated stop of the trip so far as it’s known to be comparatively unscathed by tourists. We meant to stay for a month, but our trip was very abruptly cut short due to lack of internet connection and the husband of this duo (guess which one that is) needs that inter web in order to rule the advertising world. The 10 days that we had in Yangon were really wonderful, but we missed the best of the best, Bagan and the Inle Lakes.

Visiting Yangon’s pagodas and temples was like spending a week inside Lil’ Wayne’s mouth.  So much damn gold and diamonds on that pinky ring bling bling.  It is absolutely mind-blowing.  It doesn't make any sense at all.  Shwedagon Pagoda in Yangon has something like 1,000 shrines all in like less than a square mile and all hypnotically surrounding the pièce de résistance, the Golden Pagoda, towering 105 meters over the skyline, visible for miles around the city.  Not to mention, dozens of other bling blang pagodas and shrines all over this city, including a 65 meter long Reclining Buddha, aka Chaukhtatgyi Buddha Temple aka Netflix and Chill Buddha.  Myanmar is the dirty south rapper of Southeast Asia.  I mean, there weren’t any strippers or Bentleys (that we noticed), but I know they’d be all up in their music video tossing wads of bills, showing off their gold-plated sneakers, and brushing their grills with liquid platinum toothpaste.  Ball so hard Burma, ball so hard.

We ate a lot everyday, but quite aggressively at night. We found a little, shitty street in China Town filled with food carts, rats and cockroaches where we could pick out all of our fresh veggies and marinated meats to be thrown in dirty baskets and grilled in front of us. You should definitely stay in China town & hit up 19th street day or night, plenty of chaos and all of the great Southeast Asian energy that you could possibly soak up.  The food was so delicious that you didn’t even mind sharing your scraps with rodents and dickroaches, or taking the risk of getting food poisoning. Adrienne quickly became obsessed with the ginormous fried grasshoppers and ate 1-5 a night after putting 9-15 Myanmar Beers in her face hole.  Bonus points to Myanmar Beer - under the cap, you win money OR a FREE BEER.  We earned lots and lots of free beers and gave the "money caps" to the little kids roaming about.

BOMB FOOD in Myanmar: Tea leaf salad (looks sketch as it probably comes in a little baggy, but it's awesome), Chia Tea, Meeshay (a Shan dish; rice & saucy meat), and fried grasshoppers obv.

The ornate, massive, golden temples are gorgeous and the people were lovely, but really, the grasshoppers were the real attraction for my little lady. Definitely go to Myanmar - and definitely hit everything incredible that we missed (Bagan, Inle, etc).  This is a home run destination in our little black book.

Oh note to self ya’ll, don’t touch monks and post photos of it on social media. Adrienne befriended a monk one day, and he asked for a photo, he signaled for her to go in for a cuddle while I took the shot. Apparently thats a big no-no and people really like to tell you all about it in a not so nice way. If one of you meanies are reading this, FU! He loved Adri and Adri loved him!!! (insert middle finger emoji)