His: Bye Bye Paulistas!

Our trip to Sao Paulo, Brazil has come to an end and we've told you basically nothing about it so far.  If you follow along on Instagram, you're pretty up to speed, but I'm excited to tell you more about this leg of our adventure.  Of course if you want to visit Sao Paulo, or just want a laugh - then read my lazy-person's travel guide to Sao Paulo.  

Sao Paulo is considered the "New York City of South America" - it is larger in size and population than NYC, but I guess they just generally look up to NYC for lifestyle trends.

Since I'm just doing 1 post for SP, I'm going to talk about my favorite part of SP, the people.  But 2 quick things first, 1) the graffiti here is insanely awesome.  They even have amazing graffiti all over their houses (see picture & my Instagram). 2) I had to wash my underwear in the sink when we got here, haha.  So gross.  It's a first for this trip..and a first in my life, but these highly recommended underwear wash well and dry fast.  Hand-washing isn't that bad, people!!!  I do feel a little dirty still...

People of Sao Paulo

The people of Sao Paulo are awesome and very welcoming to foreigners, specifically NYCers.  More of them speak English than in Rio and generally they're excited to meet Americans, vs. Rio where they're just over it (too many tourists).  You missed out Cariocas, we could have been best friends!  


Also in contrast to Rio, no one in Sao Paulo exercises outside.  I walk every morning to help with my back issues, and in Rio, starting at 7am, half the city comes to the beach to strut their stuff.  In Sao Paulo, I haven't seen a single person walking (for health) or exercising outside in the entire 2 weeks.

The only properly strange thing that we learned about Paulistas (People from Sao Paulo) is about their 'hook-up' culture.  Obviously we didn't learn about this first hand, but we got the second-degree scoop from a guy and a girl (who I assume met each other in the same extremely un-American fashion).  So what's so weird about it???

Let's pretend you're a guy, in America, at a bar, for instance.  They're playing music, you see a cute girl dancing - so you race through all of these pickup lines in your head, chose one, then go make your move.  Your move, meaning you go over and try to spark up a conversation and maybe slide in super smooth for a dance.  From there, you continue on dancing and chatting for hours trying not to mess things up and hope that at the end of the night you can secure that holy, enchanting kiss...or two.  I hope that all sounds normal to you people....

So in Brazil, they don't have this "break the ice" pickup line culture that us Americans have.  Instead, their pickup line is a KISS...on the mouth...always with tongue.  Let me paint the picture for you: "Hello, MOUTH-FACE-MOUTH-SPIT-TONGUE-BREATH-MOUTH-GRABBYHANDS-MOUTH.  What is your name? My name is Fred." and then, if you're superrrr lucky and you played your mouth-tongue-spit cards right, you get to dance.  So any American men out there with serious mouth game, but terrible speaking abilities - head to Sao Paulo.


I've been known as a "yupster" in some circles, which is a yuppy-hister (clever name, huh).  Anyways - idk why I got that name, I guess I wear tight pants, listen to weird music, like dressing up in costumes, (try) to eat all the organic free range grass fed sustainable crap....but I'm not a full blown hipster because I have a professional non-creative job and I shower ever day?  I mean, I guess I like it fancy sometimes, which could be the 'yuppy,' but have you ever seen me wearing salmon colored "sky's out, thighs-out" shorts with a mint long sleeve polo shit, sweater draped around my shoulders and Sperry's topsiders on?  NO, you haven't (not in like 6 years anyways).  Yes I just called out some of my friends, but it's true, they're the yuppies, not me!  Anyways... where was I going with this???

Right! So, I kinda can't stand hipsters, even though a lot of people that I know call me a hipster, or part hipster, geez, even my personality is biracial.  If you hate hipsters, check out this website.  I actually love a lot of things about hipsters and what they originally stood for.  I often like their style, taste in music, taste in art, taste in neighborhoods to live in, taste in food...but I hate this high-and-mighty, holier than thou baditude (bad attitude) that forces them to look down their noses at the nest of the world.  They're often so freaking cool, that they will refuse to admit that something really cool is actually cool just to be alternative.  Ughhhhh, I hate you!  Just be yourselves!  So we've come to find out that this is primarily an American thing, not a "hipster" thing.  The hipsters in Sao Paulo seem to be everything that I love about hipsters and they have none of the baditude.  

I would totally live in Sao Paulo, just because the hipster-community here is right for me and I'd proudly wear that big bright stereotype right across my beard, vintage t-shirt, red flannel tied around my waist with jeans cut into shorts, and combat boots on.  Everyone here has a sick beard (almost as dope as mine), interesting clothing, great taste in music I've never heard of, and get this - they don't carry themselves like they're better than the rest of the world!!!!!  Sao Paulo, hipster community, I love you.

But seriously, look at this fucking hipster.

Meeting People

In Rio, we met people on Instagram "Online Dating," but in Sao Paulo, we did things old fashioned.  Day 1, we met @MauroFarina @MissionSabotage at a bar - he's a legend, great beard, INCREDIBLE DJ, works with VICE (which we're obsessed with), you've already seen him in our Instagram shots and we're basically friends forever.  Stay tuned for more adventures with Mauro & @FreeBeats in the next few months.

Generally speaking, if you want to be friends with Paulistas, you need to eat dinner at 9pm at the earliest, and be prepared to start partying between 12am-2am and to finishing partying from 4am-12pm.  It's insane, but we haven't gone to bed before 3am in the last 4 days and that's just because dinner went long, we were almost totally sober.

We had EPIC days and nights with @Walterjunior, @Suzmaranhao, @andrebrasilia, @camilapons, @oficialvin AND @PaulMalicki AND @Maricarmem, @lumaia86, @francsco, and @adeusvivious.  We love making Friends Forever - thank you all so much for your hospitality, generosity, and partyocity.  You're all beautiful souls and we can't wait to cross your paths again!

Finally - Adrienne and I are nightlife, music, art, and party people.  For us, Sao Paulo felt like home, it has a lot of NYC in it, but with a grittier, more genuine vibe.  Feels like '94 NYC.  I know nothing about '94 NYC because I was In Kingston, Jamaica...and 7, but that's just what it feels like and I'm right.

We just got to Buenos Aires last night.  Bye Bye "trying to speak Portuguese" and hola Espanol!!!!!!  Onto destination #3!  Instagram adventures, more blog posts with crazy adventures (including some amazing friends from the US and France that are coming to visit us!!!), and another lazy travel guide soon to come!

Hers: How do you say "WTF" In Portuguese? SP, Brazil

I wouldn't necessarily say that I treat my immune system with love and respect, but she has hung in there over the last 26 years of my existence and she very rarely let's me down.

We went out on the town pretty hard on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday two weeks ago. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being just one cup of booze per night and 10 being ten cups of booze per night) we were keeping it at s consistent 5-7 cups each night. So, not bad. Monday morning we were only slightly hungover, which results in extra cuddles for me, so it's always totally worth it. 

We opened all of the windows in the apartment (friends from home can't do that no mas- brrrr brrr, it’s cold up thurr!) then Andrew ran out to grab us big sloppy breakfast sandos and coffee.  We successfully pushed through our ’slow wakeup’ and were feeling perfect by 9-10 AM. 

Six Pee Em rolls around and we're both incredibly light headed, nauseous, dizzy, could hardly keep our eyes open and our heads were absolutely pumping. What, the, heck?!

A cup of coffee, Makers Mark, Ketel one, OJ, Airborne, Excedrin, white wine, red wine, peppermint schnapps, etc. can always snap me out of basically any funk. Not this time. Nothing could shake this nasty sickness for either of us. I may or may not have tried several of the above at once and I was still a zombie. 

When all of the symptoms continued for TWO EFFING DAYS and the bloody noses arrived, we knew something was up. We were beyond out of it - all of our liveliness zapped, and waddling around like march of the penguins (also an appropriate joke because Andrew is white and black). On Wednesday morning, my body was achy from laying in the fetal position for so long, so I tried to go for a run to get some "fresh air.” A minute in I nearly passed out on the street. I walked on all fours up the hill to our apartment, went to bed and didn't get out of bed once until noon the next day. It was kind of brutal and unlike any other physical illness experience I've had before.  

Anyways, poor Andrew had to go to a meeting that day, so he fought through it and came back with interesting news. Andrew’s meeting mate apologized for how terrible he was feeling and that he could not meet for long. The last 3 days were really rough on him….(exactly like us!!!).  So Andrew shared our pain, and the gentleman informed him that his bad headaches and chronic dizziness was due to the SMOG!!! The smog levels in SP were near their highest ever, and since there has been a drought there for the last 6 months (oh yeah, FYI - Sao Paulo is operating at .06% water capacity — a result of the rampant deforestation of the AMAZON. WTF - pay attention to the environment or something you evil money-greedy pigs!), people are extra-susceptible to the airborne pollutants. SMOG. FREAKING SMOG was making us crazy! I did some research because I couldn't believe that some crappy air follicles could torture us to such extreme measures. Some folks at UC Berkeley claim the following, "While the effects of smog vary according to factors such as age, state of health, time of exposure, and dosage, the general symptoms include coughing, sneezing, headaches, tiredness, irritation, nausea, and hoarseness of the throat, nose, and eyes, and constrictions of the chest.” Ya, I can corroborate your story, Berkeley. College people are smaht (Boston accent).  

Moral of the story: 

Go get a smog check right now. If you don’t, I’ll hate you forever. Or just get rid of your car. Or buy a Tesla. 

This was a disturbing experience and really opened my eyes to what we're doing to this planet and how we're going to pay for it in many ways. Blah Blah Al Gore.  Listen to him, I think.

Hers: Victory

For those of you who don't know pre-trip Adrienne very well, she has a small obsession with high heels, cocktail dresses and bags. Just like most women, but pre-trip Adrienne very rarely wore the same outfit twice for admittedly vain reasons. 

So...I cried a little when Andrew broke the news that we were only bringing carry-on bags for this adventure of a lifetime. I thought we'd be bringing roller bags, like, big ones. I got more choked up when he suggested that we attempt to bring the clothing we would wear for a minimum of ~six months and THEN we could start trading pieces out for new items if our trip lasts longer. If you've read our website you'd know that part of the purpose of this trip was to learn how to live simply and shed ourselves of our high maintenance tendencies. I'm here to tell you that from experience, that drastic change of thinking doesn't happen over night, nor does it happen over 3 weeks! The only thing we really argued about while preparing for our trip was what I could put in his bags. I may or may not have had a few nights when I would lie awake at night frustrated and stressed about what I was going to pack. 

So, we were just in Rio for three weeks. Rio is a very casual, beach town. You might have read my last post called "Rio-ians" about Rio style. Simply put, its pretty hideous overall. I saw a couple of knock-off designer bags and I can count on my hands how many times someone was in heels. I was totally cool with my wardrobe not including anything nicer than tshirts, cut-off shorts, Birkenstock sandals and sneakers. I wasn't even upset about wearing the same outfits twice! 

After our time in careless, fashionably unguided Rio we're now in Sao Paulo. SP is known to be the NYC of South America, but bigger. We just happen to be staying in one of the nicest neighborhoods of the city too. 

You know what those factors add up to? Me, hating my contents of my backpack. My tshirts and birkies are no longer appropriate to be worn after the sun goes down here. I really just wanted to tell you that today, after only three weeks on the road, I am going shopping. Today!! (Insert: smiley face emoji, clappy hand emoji, dancing girl emoji, tears of joy emoji, girl with crown emoji, thumbs up emoji, sunglasses emoji and all of the monkey emojis) It’s sad that I’m so happy right now…someday, hopefully, I’ll be better.